Right. My computer is finally okay. Not really perfectly fine though.
But still, it's better than nothing. Hah.

Got back my papers today. Well, i failed both maths. I expected to fail a.maths. Like, duh! But i really practised hard for e.maths. When i saw my marks i was like, fuck. Did the bloody teacher marked correctly?! Lols.

I can't think of any thing that is positive. I'm feeling rather down. But what can I do? So what if i did put in effort? It was all last minute. I can't expect to do that well. Sigh. But i was expecting a pass. Just a mere pass. Guess things just don't really go my way huh?

For now, guess I can only pray for the best. Hope that I won't fail any more subjects. God, please bless me.

Sorry mommy. Sorry daddy. Sorry sisters. For letting you down.

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Went Queensway after school. Bought the one litre water bottle and slippers. For the sec three camp that's approaching real soon. Sigh. Maybe that camp will do me good. Like, get me out of Singapore for a while. Forget all about my troubles.

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While I was in the bus, I thought of him. Was thinking about those times we spent together just plainly chit chatting. Those good old days. I wish I can rewind time.

I made a stupid mistake. Something so major that I don't even blame him if he doesn't forgive me totally. I only have myself to blame. Why am I so naive? Why am i so childish? Why am I so dumb? Just pure stupid! Who am i to complain all these to my friends? All these wouldn't have happened if I didn't behave so immaturedly. If only I had thought of the consequences.

I thought the world was such a nice place. People loving each other and trusting one another. Guess I was too stupid to even think that actually the world is such a complicated place. Betrayers, backstabbers, liars, and the list goes on. Perhaps in some people's eyes, I am one of these hated human. I try my best to be perfect. But too bad, I'm just human. I'm not perfect no matter how hard I try to be.

I'm sorry for disappointing you. I didn't realise how much you trusted me. I betrayed your trust in me. Even if you have totally forgiven me, I still can't forgive myself. I'm sorry. Really sorry. And for those who trusted me still, I'm sorry i disappoint you once again. Thanks for helping me to put in a good word. But in the end, I still let you down. I really don't know what to say besides the word, ' sorry '.

I don't deserve to be forgiven. Mistakes. Everyone does make mistakes. Just that mine was a major one. Why must all the bad things happen at the same time?! Fuck.

I don't even deserve to let others care about me. There I am, saying that I would do anything just to make him happy. And the person who disappoints him greatly is no one, but me myself. I don't even have the right to cry.

It's all my fault. All these wouldn't had happened if I kept my fucking mouth shut. All because of me and my bloody mouth.

It's all my fault. My life is such a mess.